I wanted to scream or punch something when she kept asking that question. "She" being my best friend and co-pilot who was desperately trying to keep me on my flight path. My thoughts swarmed: "Can't you see I don't have any answers? Why are you bugging me about this? Why don't you stop talking? Can't you see you're not helping anything?" Little did I know, she was helping far more than either one of us realized.
Yesterday, Bianca and I took a bus tip to NYC with my mom, my sister, Damian, and Tony. I was against this trip from the very beginning. Number 1, I didn't think Bianca would do well on the bus. Number 2, the city was going to be crowded, and I am not a fan of crowds lately. Number 3, it was going to be freezing. The trip ended up being worse than I imagined. "At least I can enjoy the Christmas vendors and a nice lunch" was my original thought. Too bad neither one of those things occurred. We didn't visit one vendor, and lunch was at a dirty pizza place. I was so happy to get back on the bus and head towards home.
This morning I woke up feeling extra grumpy. For whatever reason, I am having my second period in two weeks, so my hormones are out of whack. On top of that, Bianca didn't sleep well at all last night, so in turn, neither did I. Apparently I have been in a perpetual bad mood lately, but I haven't really noticed it. This morning, I did. And Stephanie's question burned inside my ears. "What are you going to do?"
I didn't go to church. I didn't sign up for counseling. I didn't research personal trainers or life coaches. I didn't make a plan for my breakthrough year. I simply decided to clean our master bathroom. Because it was filthy. Because it was long overdue. Because whenever company comes over, every room BUT that one gets cleaned. Because I always seem to put off the most difficult tasks.
"What are you going to do?" I am going to scrub the shower floor. I am going to polish the counters. I am going to wipe down the mirror. I am going to scrub the toilet. And then scrub the shower floor again because it still looks dirty. I am going to remove the soap scum from the shower door. I am going to throw out expired medicine. I am going to rearrange the cabinet. I am going to clean my bathroom. One surface at a time.
I still don't have an answer to that looming question just yet, but like Harry said, "The bathroom looks brand new." And somehow that is exactly what I needed.