On Monday, I go back to work. It will be quite a while until I get another break - probably in the spring. Part of me is simply dreading it. I truly wish I didn't have to go back. I wish I could make a fresh start in a career that suits me better.
Last week, I received a letter granting me provisional acceptance into the Massage Therapy program at CCBC. As long as I earn a 'C' or better in Anatomy & Physiology, I'm in. I had to turn down the acceptance, though. Number 1, I was accepted for a spring start - which is solely a day-time program. Number 2, I never finished A&P. Number 3, I realized that my desire to have more children is bigger than my desire to attend school.
I thought I was at peace with the decision, so I was a bit surprised when I started crying watching a commercial for the Baltimore School of Massage. There was just a real longing in my soul as I felt the possibility of becoming a massage therapist gently slipping away.
If I had only one wish, I would quit my job and attend the BSOM massage program full time. I could be finished in as little as 7 months! Wouldn't that be amazing?!?
Sadly, we're not in a financial situation that would allow me to do that. With the choices we've made, we can't live on Harry's salary alone. But I feel in the pit of my stomach that something needs to change. I only wish I knew where to go from here.
All I can do is give my career over to the Lord. He knows the plans He has for me. Plans to prosper me and not harm me. I trust He has everything under control. I just wish He would show me where to go.