Saturday, May 7, 2011

Wow!

Harry is at school, Bianca is napping, one load of clothes is in the washer and another is in the dryer. I decided to take advantage of the quiet house and read a bit before continuing my chores.

I'm currently reading "Secrets of the Vine for Women" by Darlene Marie Wilkinson. (And absolutely loving it!!) Well, I just had to take a break and blog because when I opened up to page 96, there is simply a lovely black and white picture of a bunch of grapes followed by Philippians 1:6! He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.

I don't think it is any accident that I am reading this book now. And I think it's pretty obvious that God is sending me a clear message. Yes, right now, I am feeling unsettled. I have a job that doesn't satisfy me and takes up too much of my precious time. Because of this, I don't spend enough time with my family - particularly my daughter. I'm feeling restless because I know our family isn't finished growing, but circumstances have prevented us from having more children up until now. I know I was created for so much more than simply going through the motions of this seemingly meaningless existence. I know my life was made to bear much more fruit.

I have a tendency to dwell on the negative. I tend to get down more often than not. I complain, I whine, I cry, I get depressed. But God doesn't want me to live like that. And this week in particular, he is reminding me that HE'S NOT FINISHED WORKING ON ME!!!

I simply need to abide in Him and make Him my heart's biggest desire. And I find a comfort and relief in Wilkinson's book. She says, "You don't have to know more in order to abide. You don't have to wait until you become more mature, more successful, or more accepted. You don't have to prove yourself in any way more worthy. Right now, as you read this page, you are already the object of your Lord's attention and affection. He says, Stay with Me. Be with Me. Remain in Me." I don't have to cram any more serving or doing into my life. It's only as I persue genuine and unbroken intimacy with Him that I can produce the most eternal fruit for His glory. Isn't that such wonderful, comforting news?

When I see God show up in my life like this and speak to me so loudly and plainly, all I can say is "Wow"... and savor every moment of it! : )

Friday, May 6, 2011

Just had to share how awesome our God is....

I woke up this morning feeling rather emotional and bloated with indescribable feelings. (There was no one specific event linked to these emotions; God has just been working on me lately.) As soon as Harry and Bianca left the house, I found myself singing over and over at the top of my lungs: “Hear my prayer, Lord. Hear my prayer.” Tears were dripping down my face, and I felt like I was breathing out so much, even though there were no words coming out except "hear my prayer." In the silence that followed, I felt like I had gone through a huge catharsis in a matter of minutes.

When I got into the car and turned on the radio, guess what verse Tracey read over the air? Psalms 40:1!!!! I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.

I couldn’t help it; I burst into tears again. The Lord heard my cry. Though I am but dust, He turned His ear and His heart towards me! He not only heard me, He confirmed that he heard me!! I felt so humbled, so secure and so loved at the same time. It was nothing short of wonderful!

God also reminded me of a sermon that my pastor gave a few weeks ago. It actually goes quite perfectly after my “Unfinished” post. Even though we start strong and fizzle out, even though we quit when things get too hard, even though we leave so many things unfinished, God is the ultimate closer. (Think baseball here!)

Philippians 1:6 says: He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

How comforting it is to know that not only is God doing a good work in me, but He won’t stop until it is finished. Things may get rough. Our circumstances may not be ideal. But He will use every single thing for His glory. There’s no reason to fear. There’s much reason for hope. As Brandon Heath sings, “There is hope for me yet because God won’t forget all the plans He’s made for me. He’s not finished with me yet.”

I came to work with a great attitude. I was diligent at my tasks. I didn’t whine or complain. And I couldn’t wipe this silly smile off of my face every time I thought of how plainly God spoke to me this morning. Isn’t He so, so good?!? All the time!!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Unfinished

So, the A-Z Challenge came to a close last Saturday. As you can see, I didn't quite make it to the finish line. As I explained to my BFF today regarding my silent blog, when I came back to work last week after my vacation, I had a huge mound of work waiting for me. Quite simply, I've been working non-stop, staying late, and having too little energy to do anything at home except hug Bianca and go to bed. I hate when my life gets out of balance like this, but sadly, a permanent rememedy isn't quite within reach at this point. (I have faith it will be one day, though!) Anyway, regardless of my lack of posting of late, I am determined to finish the A-Z Challenge... even if I am a few days late.

It is apropos, then, to mention *some* of the other tasks in my life that are currently unfinished:

~ My massage degree
~ Too many journals
~ Decorating our house
~ Joining a small group at church
~ Getting into shape
~ Eating healthier
~ Having children
~ My Day Zero list
~ Two book reviews
~ My to-do list at work