A small ice storm passed through Baltimore in the evening hours, which allowed my school to open at 10 AM this morning. With the two extra hours of personal time I gained, I was able to run on the treadmill for 40 minutes, cut images and text out of a magazine, and read a book to my girls. My hubby and I even shared a passionate kiss on my way out the door. I was focused at work and was able to complete the majority of my pending tasks. I played briefly on Facebook and cried as I watched the video montage of the past six years it created for me. I brainstormed ideas for the job portfolio I am creating. I looked back at some kinds words my former boss wrote about me. In general, I just feel proud and accomplished and loved.
The sun is setting, and in a matter of minutes I will be heading home to my Loves. I don't know what mundane adventures tonight will bring, but all in all, it's been a beautiful day. <3
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
why not?
A reoccurring theme showing up for me lately is: take risks. My pastor addressed this topic on Sunday, saying that within the risks is where growth occurs. I really love that. After all, who wants to live a life of stagnation? I think of a murky, bacteria-filled swamp compared to a fresh, bubbling brook. Which one would you rather drink from?
I have heard the popular Mason Cooley quote, "'Why not' is a slogan for an interesting life," but up until now, I've paid it little mind. Now that I am turning 35 and ready to start really living, however, I have decided to answer the majority of questions presented to me with those two words: why not?
This weekend I applied for a Program Director position within my school. I may not be totally qualified, and it's three pay grades higher than my current position, but why not? Why not try? Why not get my name out there? Why not nail the interview, accept the position, get a big raise to go along with my new powerful title, and be the most amazing director that my school has ever seen? Why not?
Today I purchased a Groupon to take the courses necessary to obtain a PMP certification. Why not? Project management is a hot topic in research. Why not better myself? Why not obtain new skills that may improve my job performance? Why not add some extra initials behind my name? Why not?
I've only just begun on this journey of becoming more fully alive, but already it is feeling so good!
I have heard the popular Mason Cooley quote, "'Why not' is a slogan for an interesting life," but up until now, I've paid it little mind. Now that I am turning 35 and ready to start really living, however, I have decided to answer the majority of questions presented to me with those two words: why not?
This weekend I applied for a Program Director position within my school. I may not be totally qualified, and it's three pay grades higher than my current position, but why not? Why not try? Why not get my name out there? Why not nail the interview, accept the position, get a big raise to go along with my new powerful title, and be the most amazing director that my school has ever seen? Why not?
Today I purchased a Groupon to take the courses necessary to obtain a PMP certification. Why not? Project management is a hot topic in research. Why not better myself? Why not obtain new skills that may improve my job performance? Why not add some extra initials behind my name? Why not?
I've only just begun on this journey of becoming more fully alive, but already it is feeling so good!
Monday, February 3, 2014
my fresh start
In 11 weeks and 4 days, I will be turning 35. Truthfully, I am excited for this milestone. I'm feeling settled in general; I have a wonderful husband, three beautiful children, a comfortable house, a fantastic church, a good job, impressive credentials, a supportive family, and forever friends. A lot of my prior insecurities and doubts have been replaced with new truths, and I am learning how to fully embrace my freedom in Christ. I've been going through the motions for way too long, and particularly over the last three months, I have been feeling a nudging in my spirit to wake up and to start being present in and enjoying this rich life I've been given. It may have taken me 35 years to get here, but I am ready to fully enjoy the last two-thirds of my life. This comfy nook in Cyberspace will be where I chronicle the details of my mundane journey.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
A Year
My beautiful baby girl is now a 1-year-old and will be a big sister in a little over two months. My spirited older daughter has kissed a boy in church and is about to start school for the very first time. My hubby has lost 25 pounds and has traded in his sedan for an SUV in preparation for our growing family. I have been given more responsibilities at work and, in turn, have become more respected. My circle of friends has widened, and CCC has become my second family. Right now, life feels peaceful, beautiful, and good. This morning on my way to work, I saw a small rainbow in the sky. I saw a second one in an oil spill as I was crossing the street. Little signs of God's great love. Really started my morning off on the right foot. Earlier today, our accounting manager saw me writing in my journal. He asked, "What's that? A diary for your baby?" The question made me a little sad, mainly because I feel like I have been neglecting my children in that area. While I kept pregnancy journals for both Bianca and Alex, I have written naught for Sebastian. And while Bianca has a baby book and the beginnings of an art journal, Alex doesn't have the same recording of her first months. And while Bianca enjoys looking at her art journal, I haven't written in it in months. Perhaps not once this whole year. I have to figure out a way to make chronicling their lives a regular part of my routine. Perhaps on Memory Mondays or Writing Wednesdays or Family Fridays. Without putting aside a set time for the task, I know a whole year will go by without a literal word.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Word-Filled Wednesday: Repentance
When God saw what they had done and how they had put a stop to their evil ways, He changed His mind and did not carry out the destruction he had threatened. ~Jonah 3:10
A God who changes His mind? Apparently so: God recognizes true repentance when our actions match up with our words, and our faithfulness can sway Him. Just like when Moses begged God not to give up on the Israelites in the desert, the faithful response of God's people will always turn away God's anger.
With God, there is no such thing as too little, too late, if our response is genuine. The most important thing is not delaying the response.
When God calls you to change your attitude or choices, don't hesitate or wait a single minute. Get back on the right road as soon as you can, as soon as you know what God wants, because He is eager to respond to your repentance. We may not escape the consequences of the choices we've made or the way we've been living; but instead of experiencing God's anger or discipline, we can know His comfort and guidance through whatever we may be facing.
~ Excerpted from The Way
A God who changes His mind? Apparently so: God recognizes true repentance when our actions match up with our words, and our faithfulness can sway Him. Just like when Moses begged God not to give up on the Israelites in the desert, the faithful response of God's people will always turn away God's anger.
With God, there is no such thing as too little, too late, if our response is genuine. The most important thing is not delaying the response.
When God calls you to change your attitude or choices, don't hesitate or wait a single minute. Get back on the right road as soon as you can, as soon as you know what God wants, because He is eager to respond to your repentance. We may not escape the consequences of the choices we've made or the way we've been living; but instead of experiencing God's anger or discipline, we can know His comfort and guidance through whatever we may be facing.
~ Excerpted from The Way
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Ok, ok....I hear you!
In the past 18 hours, I have seen/heard Philippians 4:13 at least five different times - all from different sources. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
Sometimes God speaks to me in subtle ways. Sometimes I doubt that I can hear Him at all. And then sometimes - like last night and today - He speaks to me in a way that resembles a bright, neon flashing sign. This is when I have no choice but to throw my hands up in the air and surrender. "Ok, God! I hear you!"
It's no secret that Steph and I started out on a wellness journey last month. But what I haven't been completely forthcoming about is how extremely poor I have been doing. Sure, last week, I had two great days in a row. I took the stairs instead of the elevator at work, I ate within my recommended number of calories, and I did Level 1 of the 30 Day Shred with Bianca at my side each day. But then Friday night came along, and things quickly went downhill. In fact, last night, between eating dinner at Chick-Fil-A and drinking my mocha from Starbucks during small group, I consumed more calories in that short time than the whole amount allotted for my entire day. Not cool.
Naturally, I woke up feeling a bit discouraged. The voices in my head haunt me. I have Steph supporting me, my church praying for me, and the eyes of the world (ok...maybe more like 5 people!) on me via this blog, and I still can't succeed. I have been struggling with my weight since I was 5 years old; do I really think I can bring my addictions under control now?
I guess the answer would be a resounding no if I was going at it alone. But if I am really depending on Jehovah Nissi, if I am surrendering total control, there is no way I can fail.
David told us in church a few weeks ago that our struggles might not go away overnight. The battle may rage on far longer than we would like. But if we keep the faith, raise our banners, and remember that our sticks are just sticks, we will ultimately be victorious. Not because of anything we can do, but solely because of the power and might of God. (Of course, he said it much better, and you can listen to the podcast by clicking here.)
So, I get it. I have no choice but to pick myself up once again and keep walking this road. And eventually I will get healthy. I will lose this extra weight. I will be able to play for hours with my kids without getting tired. I will be able to think clearer. I will be able to serve my husband, children, and community better. And it will all be attributed to Jehovah Nissi and that precious, powerful Word: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." ~ Philippians 4:13
Sometimes God speaks to me in subtle ways. Sometimes I doubt that I can hear Him at all. And then sometimes - like last night and today - He speaks to me in a way that resembles a bright, neon flashing sign. This is when I have no choice but to throw my hands up in the air and surrender. "Ok, God! I hear you!"
It's no secret that Steph and I started out on a wellness journey last month. But what I haven't been completely forthcoming about is how extremely poor I have been doing. Sure, last week, I had two great days in a row. I took the stairs instead of the elevator at work, I ate within my recommended number of calories, and I did Level 1 of the 30 Day Shred with Bianca at my side each day. But then Friday night came along, and things quickly went downhill. In fact, last night, between eating dinner at Chick-Fil-A and drinking my mocha from Starbucks during small group, I consumed more calories in that short time than the whole amount allotted for my entire day. Not cool.
Naturally, I woke up feeling a bit discouraged. The voices in my head haunt me. I have Steph supporting me, my church praying for me, and the eyes of the world (ok...maybe more like 5 people!) on me via this blog, and I still can't succeed. I have been struggling with my weight since I was 5 years old; do I really think I can bring my addictions under control now?
I guess the answer would be a resounding no if I was going at it alone. But if I am really depending on Jehovah Nissi, if I am surrendering total control, there is no way I can fail.
David told us in church a few weeks ago that our struggles might not go away overnight. The battle may rage on far longer than we would like. But if we keep the faith, raise our banners, and remember that our sticks are just sticks, we will ultimately be victorious. Not because of anything we can do, but solely because of the power and might of God. (Of course, he said it much better, and you can listen to the podcast by clicking here.)
So, I get it. I have no choice but to pick myself up once again and keep walking this road. And eventually I will get healthy. I will lose this extra weight. I will be able to play for hours with my kids without getting tired. I will be able to think clearer. I will be able to serve my husband, children, and community better. And it will all be attributed to Jehovah Nissi and that precious, powerful Word: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." ~ Philippians 4:13
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Word Filled Wednesday: Commitment
With the dawning of a new year and the declaration of many resolutions, I thought this blurb from The Way was rather fitting.
I was not in Jerusalem at that time, for I had returned to King Artaxerxes of Babylon in the thirty-second year of his reign, though I later asked his permission to return. ~Nehemiah 13:6
It would be easy to miss the implication of Nehemiah's passing comment that he had returned to his role of serving a foreign king. But Nehemiah is modeling something enormous for us: commitment to a promise. He had experienced twelve years of leadership in Jerusalem, with stunning results. The wall had been rebuilt, and even better, the people of God had renewed their covenant with God, worship had resumed, and order had returned. But Nehemiah remembered that he had made a commitment to the king he served while in exile - a promise to return after a specific length of time. And he kept that commitment in the face of what must have been countless reasons to break it.
Do you have that kind of integrity when you make a commitment?
I was not in Jerusalem at that time, for I had returned to King Artaxerxes of Babylon in the thirty-second year of his reign, though I later asked his permission to return. ~Nehemiah 13:6
It would be easy to miss the implication of Nehemiah's passing comment that he had returned to his role of serving a foreign king. But Nehemiah is modeling something enormous for us: commitment to a promise. He had experienced twelve years of leadership in Jerusalem, with stunning results. The wall had been rebuilt, and even better, the people of God had renewed their covenant with God, worship had resumed, and order had returned. But Nehemiah remembered that he had made a commitment to the king he served while in exile - a promise to return after a specific length of time. And he kept that commitment in the face of what must have been countless reasons to break it.
Do you have that kind of integrity when you make a commitment?
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