Ok, ok....I hear you!

In the past 18 hours, I have seen/heard Philippians 4:13 at least five different times - all from different sources.  "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Sometimes God speaks to me in subtle ways.  Sometimes I doubt that I can hear Him at all.  And then sometimes - like last night and today - He speaks to me in a way that resembles a bright, neon flashing sign.  This is when I have no choice but to throw my hands up in the air and surrender.  "Ok, God!  I hear you!"

It's no secret that Steph and I started out on a wellness journey last month.  But what I haven't been completely forthcoming about is how extremely poor I have been doing.  Sure, last week, I had two great days in a row.  I took the stairs instead of the elevator at work, I ate within my recommended number of calories, and I did Level 1 of the 30 Day Shred with Bianca at my side each day.  But then Friday night came along, and things quickly went downhill.  In fact, last night, between eating dinner at Chick-Fil-A and drinking my mocha from Starbucks during small group, I consumed more calories in that short time than the whole amount allotted for my entire day.  Not cool.

Naturally, I woke up feeling a bit discouraged.  The voices in my head haunt me.  I have Steph supporting me, my church praying for me, and the eyes of the world (ok...maybe more like 5 people!)  on me via this blog, and I still can't succeed.  I have been struggling with my weight since I was 5 years old; do I really think I can bring my addictions under control now?

I guess the answer would be a resounding no if I was going at it alone.  But if I am really depending on Jehovah Nissi, if I am surrendering total control, there is no way I can fail. 

David told us in church a few weeks ago that our struggles might not go away overnight.  The battle may rage on far longer than we would like.  But if we keep the faith, raise our banners, and remember that our sticks are just sticks, we will ultimately be victorious.  Not because of anything we can do, but solely because of the power and might of God.  (Of course, he said it much better, and you can listen to the podcast by clicking here.)

So, I get it.  I have no choice but to pick myself up once again and keep walking this road.  And eventually I will get healthy.  I will lose this extra weight.  I will be able to play for hours with my kids without getting tired.  I will be able to think clearer.  I will be able to serve my husband, children, and community better.  And it will all be attributed to Jehovah Nissi and that precious, powerful Word: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." ~ Philippians 4:13