This morning I woke up with a slight headache and a terrible stomachache. My belly has been hurting me since Thursday. My mom recommended I take a laxative to help ease the pain, but I'm glad I didn't have any in the house. While I was in the shower this morning, I felt like I needed to pass gas. Instead, my bowels emptied on the shower floor. It was totally disgusting and embarrassing. I contemplated calling out of work, but as I am in the office instead of in my bed right now, the idea didn't last long. My stomach is still upset, but I'm feeling slightly better than I did this morning.
HSA testing starts today, and since Harry is the testing coordinator for his school, he had to go in early. I dropped Bianca off at Aunt Dot's, and she asked me if I was ok. She said that I haven't been like myself lately. I wanted to cry right then and there, but my only response was "I haven't been feeling well lately. But I think it's more mental than anything." This came after my mom said to me yesterday, "I didn't realize how sad you are." And one of my co-workers asked me if I thought I was suffering from Postpartum Depression.
I thought about it seriously this morning, and I don't think I have PPD. Doesn't it usually show up pretty soon after giving birth? Bianca is 8 months old. I have only been feeling a bit down for the past few weeks. I don't think it would have come on me so late in the game.
But I do think I may be suffering from some sort of depression. I just feel very dark and empty. And sad. And tired. And sick. I want to feel better already!