I am grateful that Chelle recently challenged her readers to take part in 21 days of gratitude. Not only did it lift my spirits and serve as a reminder to praise and thank God for the many blessings in my life, but the exercise also encouraged me to visit my blog on a daily basis – which is something I haven’t done in a long time.
I have alluded to it in a couple of previous posts, but earlier this year, I really felt like God was prompting me take a break from my blog for a while. I didn’t contemplate the reason too much, but I know it was a heart issue. What was the purpose of my blog? What was it becoming? Who was it really bringing glory to? Ultimately, I want my whole life to be used to bring people closer to God. I want people to get to know and love Jesus simply by knowing me. But I don’t think that was happening. I was gaining a sense of arrogance and pride. I was only glorifying myself. I didn’t want to write anything unless I thought the post might be profound. I was afraid of being judged. I was writing for all the wrong reasons.
Stephanie and I will be embarking on our wellness journey in a few days. I want to use this blog as part of that. I want it to be a catalyst for getting healthy - which is one of the main reasons I started it to begin with. I want to write and reflect as I muddle my way through life. I want to record my successes and struggles. I want to clear out the junk that has a tendency to gather in my head. I don’t want to worry about how many followers I have. I don’t want to worry about whether or not my content will please them. I don’t want to worry about portraying a perfect image of a person. Because in the end she doesn’t exist. And frankly, this is my blog and my life. Writing or living the way I think someone else wants me to really isn’t serving anyone well. And ultimately, trying to be a people pleaser is how I ended up in my current circumstances in the first place.
With that off my chest, I am looking forward to becoming an active member of the blogosphere again. When all is said and done, I really do love to write. And I’ve missed it. (And yes, fellow editors, I do know that I shouldn’t begin my sentences with conjunctions. But this is my blog, and that’s my prerogative!)