This post is going to look very different from the one I was originally composing. I had a bit of a bad morning, complete with an anxiety attack about coming into work. I was on my fifth “woe is me – I hate my job and I can’t do anything about it” paragraph when God nudged me over to my friend Chelle’s blog. In the middle of her Thursday’s Thoughts list, there was this bullet:
• Last week, I reconnected with an old friend. While it was nice to hear her voice, every single conversation we had involved her complaining about someone or something. After multiple days of this, I finally said, "Well, you can keep complaining and remain where you are, or you can make some changes and decide to do things differently." Needless to say, I haven't heard from her since. Our thoughts our powerful, and if we fill ourselves with negativity, and spew only negativity, well friends, our lives will become as such. We reap what we sow friends.
Yeah, I was just a little convicted. Philippians 4:8 popped right into my head at that moment: Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.
Chelle is absolutely right. If we fill ourselves with negative thoughts, our lives will become as such. I have been thinking negatively about my job pretty much since Day 1. I started at UMB in the middle of August 2008. In September 2008, I wrote in my journal about how unhappy I was going to be. “This job isn’t my destiny. I was created for so much more.” Well, the unhappiness has definitely come to pass. I have had more anxiety attacks and days where I simply could not function at this job than from all my previous ones combined. (ok – Allstate may be the exception!)
So now the question becomes: will I keep complaining and remain where I am? Or will I make some changes and decide to do things differently?
Obviously – the latter is the better option. I just wish I knew how to change. I feel like I have been stuck in this area for eight years because I don’t know how to move. I’ve said it before, but I need help. I realize my first attempt at working with a life coach didn’t go so well, but maybe I should try to find someone local with whom I can sit down face to face. I really do want to change. I just need help formulating an action plan on how to achieve it.
Hmmm….I just realized that once I finally begin the Me Project, I should concentrate on making an action plan for my career.
Thanks, Chelle, for the reminder about how powerful our thoughts and words can be!