Steph and I have picked back up on our Sacred Friday tradition. She picks an inspirational word out of a basket and then we watch how the word comes into play for us throughout the week.
I was going to post this entry tomorrow (hence Sacred Friday), but I may be too busy. I have decided to take off from work tomorrow. I'm calling out "sick." My supervisor returns to the office on Monday, so tomorrow is my last day of freedom. I am going to fully enjoy it. Plus I have to make some secret preparations for Harry's birthday (grin).
This week's inspirational word is Wisdom. Here is how the word showed up in my life last week:
First, I attended a baby shower on Saturday. In lieu of cards, we were to buy a book and inscribe it with a note for the baby-to-be. Of course, I wanted my note to be perfect, so I opened up Bianca’s book of prayers. (Yes, I plagiarized a bit!) On the very first page I opened was written the Scripture Job 12:13 – “God has wisdom and power. He has good advice and understanding.” That wasn’t the Scripture that would ultimately find its way into Madison’s book, but I saw the word loud and clear: God has WISDOM…
Later in the week, as I was going through my Same Life, New Story devotional, I read about Esther. In that chapter, the author wrote, “Wisdom has to hold hands with courage when circumstances become dicey and we are in the process of redirecting our lives. Wisdom is the gift of knowing what to do. Courage is the gift of having the guts to do it. That is a powerful combination.”
I felt like that message was directly for me. I am definitely in the process of redirecting my life. God has been putting some ideas into my head concerning my career and my life’s purpose. That is the wisdom. Now it’s up to me to act on them. That’s where the courage will come in. But I will definitely need God’s help here, too!
Earlier this week, on the suggestion of one of my co-workers, I spoke to a numerologist. I know it might sound crazy, but honestly, it was amazing. Completely different reaction than the one I just had with my life coach. And SO much cheaper! Anyway…my date of birth is the 25th, which added together equals 7. Additionally, when you add the numbers of “Carey,” the total also comes to 7. 7 is the number for faith and WISDOM.
It's no secret that I love to learn, but wisdom is so much deeper than that. It’s learning, applying the lessons, and growing from them. It’s making wise decisions and giving wise counsel. It comes with being in touch with God and finding ways to manifest His will in your life.
The only good thing that came out of today's life coaching session is my promise to spend 10 minutes in silent contemplation each day. They say that God speaks the language of silence. I will only hear His voice when I am still. I have a feeling that making a commitment to that daily practice will only help me obtain more wisdom. That is nothing but a beautiful thing.
Showing posts with label Sacred Friday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sacred Friday. Show all posts
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Friday, August 13, 2010
Sacred Friday: Happiness
Happiness is impossible to define. Let's take a look at Elizabeth Gilbert. She had a great house, a devoted spouse, interesting friends, a successful career...and yet she wasn't happy. I actually find myself in a similar situation. I don't know how "successful" you would consider my career, but I have a wonderful husband, a precious daughter, amazing friends, a supportive extended family, a nice house, a good education, dreams....and yet there are some days where I find myself simply miserable. I started therapy because in my head, it doesn't make sense. I have a life that many people dream of, and yet I'm not happy. Even though I know I have issues that need to be dealt with, I don't think they are the root cause of my depression.
I look back on my life and there was a time when I felt truly happy. It was 1999 - the year I gave my life to Jesus. I went to a Spirit-filled church that touched me so profoundly. I was a part of a cell group, I was active in Campus Crusades, I had real friends, I did fun things, I smiled and laughed a lot. Even my depression seemed to disappear. I was in a close and personal relationship with our Lord. I didn't need anything else; I had everything I needed.
My depression came back with a vengeance recently. I also have recently stopped going to church. I don't think it's a coincidence.
I started out this week writing a list of things that I thought translated into happiness:
~ Happiness is sitting on the floor with Bianca before breakfast and singing the “Good Morning” song to her.
~ Happiness is Harry giving me a tight good morning hug.
~ Happiness is walking into work and hearing Beastie Boys blaring in the background. (Perhaps because it was so unexpected, it made me laugh out loud!)
~ Happiness is drinking hot tea from an inspirational mug from my best friend.
~ Happiness is watching a chick flick in bed with Bianca in my arms.
~ Happiness is a blatantly answered prayer.
~ Happiness is eating a gooey piece of pizza after I have been craving it for days.
~ Happiness is spending the day on the beach with my family.
~ Happiness is getting an A in a class I truly loved.
I even went on the Happiness Project website looking for answers to what makes someone happy. I came to the conclusion that I needed to exercise. After all, people who exercise are healthier, more energetic, think more clearly, sleep better, and have delayed onset of dementia. They get relief from anxiety and mild depression. They perform better at work. My report to you was going to say something along the lines of "I have found the key to happiness: exercise. Obviously I'm not happy because I'm not exercising regularly."
But I realize that Happiness only comes when you are doing what you were created to do - and that is loving, serving, worshiping God. I haven't been doing any of the above, and happiness has eluded me.
The best part of that realization, though, is knowing that I can be happy again....and so much more....if I re-dedicate my life to Christ.
Let me tell you about the "blatantly answered prayer" I mentioned above. I have been so upset that I can't find my new church home. My prayers to God the past two weeks have been a simple, yet desperate one: Please, Lord, let someone invite me to go to church with them.
On Wednesday, my friend Karen sent me an email asking me if I would like to attend a barbeque this Saturday at her church. My heart literally leaped with joy. Karen has been asking me to go to church with her for months. Not consistently, just every now and then. And I always had an excuse of why I couldn't go. My latest excuse I am struggling with is "But it's in Dundalk; I wanted a church close to home." But I'm not going to worry about that now. I'm just going to go to the cookout with her. And we'll take it from there.
One thing I realized, though, is that every church I have ever visited or attended in my life that I absolutely loved was an Assembly of God church. That is the denomination that speaks to my heart and moves me, so I think that's where I belong.
I won't get to go to church this weekend. Harry and I are heading to Ocean City on Sunday morning. We want to have one day at the beach with my sister and Damian before they head back home. But next weekend, I have decided to go. I will either go to Eastern Assembly of God (Karen's church) or I will go to Middle River Assembly of God (5 minutes from my house). I don't care if Harry doesn't want to go with me. God is once again going to claim the number one spot in my life.
Consequently, I have off all next week. I will be spending quality time with Harry, Bianca, my Bible, my journal, and a book. I am also going to make exercising at least a little bit every day a priority.
I will get my life back on track and hopefully back in balance, and ultimately, I will find happiness. I just have to take it one day at a time!
I look back on my life and there was a time when I felt truly happy. It was 1999 - the year I gave my life to Jesus. I went to a Spirit-filled church that touched me so profoundly. I was a part of a cell group, I was active in Campus Crusades, I had real friends, I did fun things, I smiled and laughed a lot. Even my depression seemed to disappear. I was in a close and personal relationship with our Lord. I didn't need anything else; I had everything I needed.
My depression came back with a vengeance recently. I also have recently stopped going to church. I don't think it's a coincidence.
I started out this week writing a list of things that I thought translated into happiness:
~ Happiness is sitting on the floor with Bianca before breakfast and singing the “Good Morning” song to her.
~ Happiness is Harry giving me a tight good morning hug.
~ Happiness is walking into work and hearing Beastie Boys blaring in the background. (Perhaps because it was so unexpected, it made me laugh out loud!)
~ Happiness is drinking hot tea from an inspirational mug from my best friend.
~ Happiness is watching a chick flick in bed with Bianca in my arms.
~ Happiness is a blatantly answered prayer.
~ Happiness is eating a gooey piece of pizza after I have been craving it for days.
~ Happiness is spending the day on the beach with my family.
~ Happiness is getting an A in a class I truly loved.
I even went on the Happiness Project website looking for answers to what makes someone happy. I came to the conclusion that I needed to exercise. After all, people who exercise are healthier, more energetic, think more clearly, sleep better, and have delayed onset of dementia. They get relief from anxiety and mild depression. They perform better at work. My report to you was going to say something along the lines of "I have found the key to happiness: exercise. Obviously I'm not happy because I'm not exercising regularly."
But I realize that Happiness only comes when you are doing what you were created to do - and that is loving, serving, worshiping God. I haven't been doing any of the above, and happiness has eluded me.
The best part of that realization, though, is knowing that I can be happy again....and so much more....if I re-dedicate my life to Christ.
Let me tell you about the "blatantly answered prayer" I mentioned above. I have been so upset that I can't find my new church home. My prayers to God the past two weeks have been a simple, yet desperate one: Please, Lord, let someone invite me to go to church with them.
On Wednesday, my friend Karen sent me an email asking me if I would like to attend a barbeque this Saturday at her church. My heart literally leaped with joy. Karen has been asking me to go to church with her for months. Not consistently, just every now and then. And I always had an excuse of why I couldn't go. My latest excuse I am struggling with is "But it's in Dundalk; I wanted a church close to home." But I'm not going to worry about that now. I'm just going to go to the cookout with her. And we'll take it from there.
One thing I realized, though, is that every church I have ever visited or attended in my life that I absolutely loved was an Assembly of God church. That is the denomination that speaks to my heart and moves me, so I think that's where I belong.
I won't get to go to church this weekend. Harry and I are heading to Ocean City on Sunday morning. We want to have one day at the beach with my sister and Damian before they head back home. But next weekend, I have decided to go. I will either go to Eastern Assembly of God (Karen's church) or I will go to Middle River Assembly of God (5 minutes from my house). I don't care if Harry doesn't want to go with me. God is once again going to claim the number one spot in my life.
Consequently, I have off all next week. I will be spending quality time with Harry, Bianca, my Bible, my journal, and a book. I am also going to make exercising at least a little bit every day a priority.
I will get my life back on track and hopefully back in balance, and ultimately, I will find happiness. I just have to take it one day at a time!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Sacred Friday: Support
I have so much support in my life. It comes from so many places. Without a doubt, this has to be one of my greatest blessings.
First and foremost, I have the support of my wonderful husband. He stands beside me and my crazy ideas….even when deep down he thinks they won’t work. He gives me the space and freedom to be my own person and to nurture the other relationships in my life. He allows me to pursue my interests on my own terms; he rarely pressures me. The majority of the time he will offer to drive because he knows I don’t like to drive….even though he doesn’t like it either. He cleans up after dinner and changes and feeds Bianca without a request. I truly don’t know what I would do without him in my life.
I also have the support of my family. Even though I may sometimes get discouraged by their lack of faith in me, they truly do love me and will support me in any way they can. Some examples – they were present at every major event in my life – baptism, birthday parties, First Communion, band concerts, choir performances, musicals, high school graduation, college graduation, bridal shower, wedding, baby shower, housewarming, Bianca’s baptism….and I know it won’t stop. They purchased Pink Papaya products from me and were happy to book parties. Kim helped me get my current job. Mom is always buying me things, even when she has no money. My sister is always there to let me vent or to answer my silly questions. My mother-in-law supports me 100% in my business. It was her FOURTH order from my website that allowed me to achieve my first incentive phase. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg! My family – every single member – is just so wonderful to be a part of.
Of course, I have the love and support of my two best friends – particularly my co-pilot – that has helped me grow and expand in ways I couldn’t have on my own. Steph, for all your advice, for all your encouragement, for all your prayers, for all your honesty, for all your hugs and smiles, for all of your emails, for being such a nurturing and positive influence in my life … I am eternally grateful! I love you!
I also have the support of my wonderful co-worker Sheila. She always helps me out when I need it. She listens to me vent when the day gets really rough. She covered for me beautifully while I was on vacation last week. She bought me cookies and mochas on my roughest days. She purchased several Pink Papaya products from me. She is truly my right hand at work and I appreciate her more than I probably ever tell her.
My Pink Papaya team leader Cathy is wonderful. She is such a great cheerleader. I know it benefits her if I do well, but can I just say that it feels really, really good having someone say, “You are doing so great! I knew you would! Just wait until you start building your own team! You are going to be a wonderful leader!” That encouragement and blind faith goes a long way with me. I love, love, love my business….and I know it’s partly because I have such a great support system.
I also have the support of both my boss and my supervisor at my day job. I know I complain about my job – A LOT – but I also know the majority of my complaints could be resolved by changing my attitude. When I asked Nicole to change my hours to 7:30 – 4:30 instead of 8:00 – 5:00, she let me do it…AND said that because I work so hard, she would let me work 8:00 – 4:30. When I asked about going to Miami for a grants administration training, she paid for me to go. If I ever decide to take the time to come up with ideas that might make my job more efficient, I know she would support me. Yes, I complain about work, but in reality, I don’t really have it all that bad.
I also have great financial support. The combination of Harry's and my salaries allows us to live in a beautiful house. We will be out of debt in a few years, with the exception of our mortgage. We will be able to purchase Harry a BMW. If we ever needed to borrow money, I know several family members who would have no qualms with lending it to us. We have gotten lots of clothes for Bianca without paying a penny. We are having a deck built for only the cost of materials. We are able to live comfortably.
Yes, support is everywhere in my life. And it is simply warm, comforting, and delicious!
First and foremost, I have the support of my wonderful husband. He stands beside me and my crazy ideas….even when deep down he thinks they won’t work. He gives me the space and freedom to be my own person and to nurture the other relationships in my life. He allows me to pursue my interests on my own terms; he rarely pressures me. The majority of the time he will offer to drive because he knows I don’t like to drive….even though he doesn’t like it either. He cleans up after dinner and changes and feeds Bianca without a request. I truly don’t know what I would do without him in my life.
I also have the support of my family. Even though I may sometimes get discouraged by their lack of faith in me, they truly do love me and will support me in any way they can. Some examples – they were present at every major event in my life – baptism, birthday parties, First Communion, band concerts, choir performances, musicals, high school graduation, college graduation, bridal shower, wedding, baby shower, housewarming, Bianca’s baptism….and I know it won’t stop. They purchased Pink Papaya products from me and were happy to book parties. Kim helped me get my current job. Mom is always buying me things, even when she has no money. My sister is always there to let me vent or to answer my silly questions. My mother-in-law supports me 100% in my business. It was her FOURTH order from my website that allowed me to achieve my first incentive phase. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg! My family – every single member – is just so wonderful to be a part of.
Of course, I have the love and support of my two best friends – particularly my co-pilot – that has helped me grow and expand in ways I couldn’t have on my own. Steph, for all your advice, for all your encouragement, for all your prayers, for all your honesty, for all your hugs and smiles, for all of your emails, for being such a nurturing and positive influence in my life … I am eternally grateful! I love you!
I also have the support of my wonderful co-worker Sheila. She always helps me out when I need it. She listens to me vent when the day gets really rough. She covered for me beautifully while I was on vacation last week. She bought me cookies and mochas on my roughest days. She purchased several Pink Papaya products from me. She is truly my right hand at work and I appreciate her more than I probably ever tell her.
My Pink Papaya team leader Cathy is wonderful. She is such a great cheerleader. I know it benefits her if I do well, but can I just say that it feels really, really good having someone say, “You are doing so great! I knew you would! Just wait until you start building your own team! You are going to be a wonderful leader!” That encouragement and blind faith goes a long way with me. I love, love, love my business….and I know it’s partly because I have such a great support system.
I also have the support of both my boss and my supervisor at my day job. I know I complain about my job – A LOT – but I also know the majority of my complaints could be resolved by changing my attitude. When I asked Nicole to change my hours to 7:30 – 4:30 instead of 8:00 – 5:00, she let me do it…AND said that because I work so hard, she would let me work 8:00 – 4:30. When I asked about going to Miami for a grants administration training, she paid for me to go. If I ever decide to take the time to come up with ideas that might make my job more efficient, I know she would support me. Yes, I complain about work, but in reality, I don’t really have it all that bad.
I also have great financial support. The combination of Harry's and my salaries allows us to live in a beautiful house. We will be out of debt in a few years, with the exception of our mortgage. We will be able to purchase Harry a BMW. If we ever needed to borrow money, I know several family members who would have no qualms with lending it to us. We have gotten lots of clothes for Bianca without paying a penny. We are having a deck built for only the cost of materials. We are able to live comfortably.
Yes, support is everywhere in my life. And it is simply warm, comforting, and delicious!
Friday, March 12, 2010
Sacred Friday: Magnificence
Magnificence really came into play for me last week. As usual, I started out with looking up the definition:
Magnificence
1 : the quality or state of being magnificent
2 : splendor of surroundings
Magnificent
1 : great in deed or exalted in place —used only of former famous rulers
2 : marked by stately grandeur and lavishness
3 : sumptuous in structure and adornment; broadly : strikingly beautiful or impressive
4 : impressive to the mind or spirit : sublime
5 : exceptionally fine
"The quality or state of being Magnificent." That is exactly how I felt last week. All at once, it seems like my life is finally falling into place. I have a wonderful relationship with my husband, and as he starts to embrace his role as the spiritual leader of our family, I know it will only get better. I have been enjoying my moments with Bianca more than ever. I admit that before when I held her at night, I would focus on the negative. I would feel so depressed that I couldn’t be with her during the day. I was giving my daughter, the most precious and innocent being, all of my negative energy. I don’t want her growing up depressed like me. So I’ve been focusing on the moments that I DO have with her, and I want to make them as tender, loving, and positive as I can. She deserves nothing but good energy.
Pink Papaya feels ordained by God. I love the energy that is surrounding it. It is feeding me in ways I never expected already…and we haven’t even begun! Massage School is closer now than ever before. I’m literally only a few years away from my license. This dream that used to seem so distant, just a possibility in the future, is solidifying right in front of me. I get butterflies in my stomach thinking about it! All this positive energy has really had an effect on my “day job,” as well. My boss told me the other day that he really appreciates me. My supervisor also told me that she is really pleased with my work. She said, “You just don’t know… You don’t know what I had to deal with before.” I felt like a shining star. The anxiety I was feeling about my job has almost completely disappeared.
Getting up at 5:00 AM is really difficult for me, so I haven’t been doing it every day like I should. But on the days when I find the strength and energy to get up, I have been doing great on the Shred. It’s definitely tough, but I get better every day. I’m not seeing huge physical results, but I feel better in general. I know it’s still a long way off, but one day, I am going to feel completely comfortable and free in my skin.
Planning for Girls’ Day had me absolutely giddy! I can’t wait to honor our sacred friendship. We will be in a beautiful “splendor of surroundings,” indulging in simple pleasures, and enjoying the spirit and laughter of us as a terrific trio. If champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries doesn’t say magnificence, I don’t know what does!
Finally, but definitely not least, I am growing deeper in my relationship with God. I know this will only get better once we find a church home and I become part of a Life Group. The message that God has been trying to send to me last week into this week is "Sing." I used to be so passionate about singing. It was a huge part of who I was. "I am Carey. I am a singer." For whatever reason, even while alone in my car, I haven't really sung lately. God wants me to get back in touch with that incredible gift He has given me. He wants me to worship with passion. And using His gifts is a form of worship. He wants me to be magnificent in that area of my life again.
So, in short....I simply felt like a Magnificent peacock all week long!! God is SO GOOD. All the time.
Magnificence
1 : the quality or state of being magnificent
2 : splendor of surroundings
Magnificent
1 : great in deed or exalted in place —used only of former famous rulers
2 : marked by stately grandeur and lavishness
3 : sumptuous in structure and adornment; broadly : strikingly beautiful or impressive
4 : impressive to the mind or spirit : sublime
5 : exceptionally fine
"The quality or state of being Magnificent." That is exactly how I felt last week. All at once, it seems like my life is finally falling into place. I have a wonderful relationship with my husband, and as he starts to embrace his role as the spiritual leader of our family, I know it will only get better. I have been enjoying my moments with Bianca more than ever. I admit that before when I held her at night, I would focus on the negative. I would feel so depressed that I couldn’t be with her during the day. I was giving my daughter, the most precious and innocent being, all of my negative energy. I don’t want her growing up depressed like me. So I’ve been focusing on the moments that I DO have with her, and I want to make them as tender, loving, and positive as I can. She deserves nothing but good energy.
Pink Papaya feels ordained by God. I love the energy that is surrounding it. It is feeding me in ways I never expected already…and we haven’t even begun! Massage School is closer now than ever before. I’m literally only a few years away from my license. This dream that used to seem so distant, just a possibility in the future, is solidifying right in front of me. I get butterflies in my stomach thinking about it! All this positive energy has really had an effect on my “day job,” as well. My boss told me the other day that he really appreciates me. My supervisor also told me that she is really pleased with my work. She said, “You just don’t know… You don’t know what I had to deal with before.” I felt like a shining star. The anxiety I was feeling about my job has almost completely disappeared.
Getting up at 5:00 AM is really difficult for me, so I haven’t been doing it every day like I should. But on the days when I find the strength and energy to get up, I have been doing great on the Shred. It’s definitely tough, but I get better every day. I’m not seeing huge physical results, but I feel better in general. I know it’s still a long way off, but one day, I am going to feel completely comfortable and free in my skin.
Planning for Girls’ Day had me absolutely giddy! I can’t wait to honor our sacred friendship. We will be in a beautiful “splendor of surroundings,” indulging in simple pleasures, and enjoying the spirit and laughter of us as a terrific trio. If champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries doesn’t say magnificence, I don’t know what does!
Finally, but definitely not least, I am growing deeper in my relationship with God. I know this will only get better once we find a church home and I become part of a Life Group. The message that God has been trying to send to me last week into this week is "Sing." I used to be so passionate about singing. It was a huge part of who I was. "I am Carey. I am a singer." For whatever reason, even while alone in my car, I haven't really sung lately. God wants me to get back in touch with that incredible gift He has given me. He wants me to worship with passion. And using His gifts is a form of worship. He wants me to be magnificent in that area of my life again.
So, in short....I simply felt like a Magnificent peacock all week long!! God is SO GOOD. All the time.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Sacred Friday
This week's word was "Satisfaction." Harry once told me that I would never be satisfied. He said that I am always looking forward to the next thing, and I never take the time to enjoy the now. When I saw this word, it was my goal to prove him wrong. After all, even though I do have big dreams that I am constantly working towards, I am generally satisfied with my life. The only area that needs a major overhaul is my job.
I have a strong faith that gets me through the darkest times. I have a husband who I am attracted to and truly love to be around. I have a daughter who is beautiful and inspires me to be the best version of myself. I have an extended family that encourages and supports me. I have close friends who bring me joy and challenge me to be better. I have a spacious house with all the comforts I need. I have dreams that sustain me. How could I not be satisfied?
I thought that I was unsatisfied with my car. For years, I dreamed about my Cabrio. I found the perfect one, and I drove two hours into Virigina to buy it. It was the first car in MY name. I took out my very first loan to buy it. My heart and soul were in that car. After my accident, I needed a car. Volkswagen didn't make Cabrios anymore. And since Harry and I were about to get married, we thought it would be better to buy a four-door car for when we had children. We looked in the used car lot at the dealer where my Cabrio was towed. There was only one car on the lot that I liked. I took it for a test drive and then bought it. There was no thought behind it. There was no passion. It was just a vehicle to get me to point A to point B.
Because I want to own another convertible, I have been trying to pay closer attention to the cars I see on the road. I have been taking note of the cars I'm drawn to so that when the time comes, I can buy another car I am passionate about. Ironically, a lot of the cars I saw driving that caught my attention were Hyundai's - which is now what I drive. Guess I am more satisfied with my new car than I originally thought!
I was also starting to get unsatisfied with Family Day. Now, I love my family and I love spending time with them. But the obligation of going to my mom's every week was starting to take a toll on me. Because of the weather and because of Miami, I haven't been over my mom's house in three weeks. I find myself longing to go over there. Again, I guess I am more satisfied with the status quo than I originally thought.
Again, the area of major unsatisfaction in my life is my job. But I was reading the Message Bible this week, and I stumbled upon Ecclesiastes 3:12-13. "I've decided that there's nothing better to do than go ahead and have a good time and get the most we can out of life. That's it - eat, drink, and make the most of your job. It's God's gift." Honestly, on most days, I don't view my job as a gift. I see it as nothing but a burden whose benefits aren't worth the stress and heartache.
Harry and I watched "Love Happens" last night, and the leading man had an assistant who was really passionate and dedicated to his job. When the man lost his luggage, his assistant said, "No worries" and handed him a suit. I found myself wishing to be like that. Normally when a problem occurs, I get upset, worried, and stressed out. I wish I was more proactive and calm when it comes to finding a solution.
Of course, if I had my choice, I would definitely be in a new career. I just don't think it can happen anytime soon. So I have to work on being more satisfied in my current position. I just think I need a lot of help to do so.
I have a strong faith that gets me through the darkest times. I have a husband who I am attracted to and truly love to be around. I have a daughter who is beautiful and inspires me to be the best version of myself. I have an extended family that encourages and supports me. I have close friends who bring me joy and challenge me to be better. I have a spacious house with all the comforts I need. I have dreams that sustain me. How could I not be satisfied?
I thought that I was unsatisfied with my car. For years, I dreamed about my Cabrio. I found the perfect one, and I drove two hours into Virigina to buy it. It was the first car in MY name. I took out my very first loan to buy it. My heart and soul were in that car. After my accident, I needed a car. Volkswagen didn't make Cabrios anymore. And since Harry and I were about to get married, we thought it would be better to buy a four-door car for when we had children. We looked in the used car lot at the dealer where my Cabrio was towed. There was only one car on the lot that I liked. I took it for a test drive and then bought it. There was no thought behind it. There was no passion. It was just a vehicle to get me to point A to point B.
Because I want to own another convertible, I have been trying to pay closer attention to the cars I see on the road. I have been taking note of the cars I'm drawn to so that when the time comes, I can buy another car I am passionate about. Ironically, a lot of the cars I saw driving that caught my attention were Hyundai's - which is now what I drive. Guess I am more satisfied with my new car than I originally thought!
I was also starting to get unsatisfied with Family Day. Now, I love my family and I love spending time with them. But the obligation of going to my mom's every week was starting to take a toll on me. Because of the weather and because of Miami, I haven't been over my mom's house in three weeks. I find myself longing to go over there. Again, I guess I am more satisfied with the status quo than I originally thought.
Again, the area of major unsatisfaction in my life is my job. But I was reading the Message Bible this week, and I stumbled upon Ecclesiastes 3:12-13. "I've decided that there's nothing better to do than go ahead and have a good time and get the most we can out of life. That's it - eat, drink, and make the most of your job. It's God's gift." Honestly, on most days, I don't view my job as a gift. I see it as nothing but a burden whose benefits aren't worth the stress and heartache.
Harry and I watched "Love Happens" last night, and the leading man had an assistant who was really passionate and dedicated to his job. When the man lost his luggage, his assistant said, "No worries" and handed him a suit. I found myself wishing to be like that. Normally when a problem occurs, I get upset, worried, and stressed out. I wish I was more proactive and calm when it comes to finding a solution.
Of course, if I had my choice, I would definitely be in a new career. I just don't think it can happen anytime soon. So I have to work on being more satisfied in my current position. I just think I need a lot of help to do so.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Sacred Friday
This week, we pondered the word Healing.
Healing. What an incredibly powerful word! Usually when I receive a word, I ponder how it affects my life. This time, I was struck by how universal this word is, and how much everyone needs it.
We are all broken people. We live in a broken world. We are all aching. We are all longing for healing.
God knew what was going to happen to His people and this world before He ever created it, yet He let it all happen. Why? Why would a God who supposedly loves us so much allow such pain and heartache to happen? Why would He allow molestation, rape, devastation through earthquakes, isolation, and murder? How can He sit by and watch His people suffer?
The answer is simple: every tragedy can be turned into good. It is difficult to see good in horrific circumstances. But God wants us to lean on Him. Trust in Him. Live in hope despite the evil in this world. God has promised us riches in heaven. He promises us a new heaven and a new earth. He promises us safety, security, and HEALING if only we cling to Him.
I am passionate about holistic health. I want to achieve total health in mind, body, and spirit. I want others to attain it, too. Did you notice the word HEAL in health? Being completely healthy centers around healing broken parts of ourselves. Many people ponder the purpose in their lives. Ultimately, I think each one of us is on a journey to heal.
This week, Michael W. Smith’s “Healing Rain” has played over and over in my head. When I read about Steph’s foot. When Harry told me there was shooting immediately after his basketball game. When I saw the horrific aftermath of the Haiti earthquake on the news. When I thought of Michele’s miscarriage. When I watched for updates on Natalie’s open-heart surgery, I heard this song.
I have cried so many tears this week. I originally thought it was because I was PMSing. But now I realize I have been crying for the people on this earth. Everyone is hurting. Everyone needs to heal. It makes my heart ache seeing so much pain. I know more than ever that my mission in life is to help people heal…even if in tiny ways.
Healing rain is coming down
It's coming nearer to this old town
Rich and poor, weak and strong
It's bringing mercy, it won't be long
Healing rain is coming down
It's coming closer to the lost and found
Tears of joy, and tears of shame
Are washed forever in Jesus' name
Healing rain, it comes with fire
So let it fall and take us higher
Healing rain, I'm not afraid
To be washed in Heaven's rain
Lift your heads, let us return
To the mercy seat where time began
And in your eyes, I see the pain
Come soak this dry heart with healing rain
And only You, the Son of man
Can take a leper and let him stand
So lift your hands, they can be held
By someone greater, the great I Am
Healing rain, it comes with fire
So let it fall and take us higher
Healing rain, I'm not afraid
To be washed in Heaven's rain
To be washed in Heaven's rain...
Healing rain is falling down
Healing rain is falling down
I'm not afraid
I'm not afraid...
Healing. What an incredibly powerful word! Usually when I receive a word, I ponder how it affects my life. This time, I was struck by how universal this word is, and how much everyone needs it.
We are all broken people. We live in a broken world. We are all aching. We are all longing for healing.
God knew what was going to happen to His people and this world before He ever created it, yet He let it all happen. Why? Why would a God who supposedly loves us so much allow such pain and heartache to happen? Why would He allow molestation, rape, devastation through earthquakes, isolation, and murder? How can He sit by and watch His people suffer?
The answer is simple: every tragedy can be turned into good. It is difficult to see good in horrific circumstances. But God wants us to lean on Him. Trust in Him. Live in hope despite the evil in this world. God has promised us riches in heaven. He promises us a new heaven and a new earth. He promises us safety, security, and HEALING if only we cling to Him.
I am passionate about holistic health. I want to achieve total health in mind, body, and spirit. I want others to attain it, too. Did you notice the word HEAL in health? Being completely healthy centers around healing broken parts of ourselves. Many people ponder the purpose in their lives. Ultimately, I think each one of us is on a journey to heal.
This week, Michael W. Smith’s “Healing Rain” has played over and over in my head. When I read about Steph’s foot. When Harry told me there was shooting immediately after his basketball game. When I saw the horrific aftermath of the Haiti earthquake on the news. When I thought of Michele’s miscarriage. When I watched for updates on Natalie’s open-heart surgery, I heard this song.
I have cried so many tears this week. I originally thought it was because I was PMSing. But now I realize I have been crying for the people on this earth. Everyone is hurting. Everyone needs to heal. It makes my heart ache seeing so much pain. I know more than ever that my mission in life is to help people heal…even if in tiny ways.
Healing rain is coming down
It's coming nearer to this old town
Rich and poor, weak and strong
It's bringing mercy, it won't be long
Healing rain is coming down
It's coming closer to the lost and found
Tears of joy, and tears of shame
Are washed forever in Jesus' name
Healing rain, it comes with fire
So let it fall and take us higher
Healing rain, I'm not afraid
To be washed in Heaven's rain
Lift your heads, let us return
To the mercy seat where time began
And in your eyes, I see the pain
Come soak this dry heart with healing rain
And only You, the Son of man
Can take a leper and let him stand
So lift your hands, they can be held
By someone greater, the great I Am
Healing rain, it comes with fire
So let it fall and take us higher
Healing rain, I'm not afraid
To be washed in Heaven's rain
To be washed in Heaven's rain...
Healing rain is falling down
Healing rain is falling down
I'm not afraid
I'm not afraid...
Friday, January 1, 2010
Sacred Friday
This week, we had to ponder two words: Acceptance and Strength. It's pretty obvious that these words were meant to be pulled together. I've come to realize that the more you have of the former, the more you will have of the latter.
Take for instance the following situations from my own life:
~ I have to accept that there is a lot of darkness in my past, but I gain strength knowing that I am forgiven and alive in Jesus.
~ I have to accept that I will make mistakes while raising Bianca, but I gain strength knowing that God trusted me enough to make me a mother.
~ I have to accept that Harry isn't always romatic, but I gain strength as he loves me in his own mundane, devoted, perfect way.
~ I have to accept that my job situation won't change drastically overnight, but I gain strength knowing I am exactly where God wants me, and it will ultimately lead to bigger things.
~ In general, I have to accept that life doesn't always go as planned, but I can gain strength knowing that God can turn all situations into good and can use them for His Glory.
Take for instance the following situations from my own life:
~ I have to accept that there is a lot of darkness in my past, but I gain strength knowing that I am forgiven and alive in Jesus.
~ I have to accept that I will make mistakes while raising Bianca, but I gain strength knowing that God trusted me enough to make me a mother.
~ I have to accept that Harry isn't always romatic, but I gain strength as he loves me in his own mundane, devoted, perfect way.
~ I have to accept that my job situation won't change drastically overnight, but I gain strength knowing I am exactly where God wants me, and it will ultimately lead to bigger things.
~ In general, I have to accept that life doesn't always go as planned, but I can gain strength knowing that God can turn all situations into good and can use them for His Glory.
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