Today Jamie asked the question: What do you wish for your well-being?
~ I wish for more healing rest
~ I wish to make better food choices
~ I wish to detox my body of toxins
~ I wish to surround myself with positive, inspirational people
~ I wish to be at peace with my career
~ I wish for more romance
~ I wish for more fun
~ I wish for more music
~ I wish for more laughter
~ I wish for regular massages
~ I wish for regular exercise
~ I wish for mental health days spent in the sun
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Everything is Going to Be OK
For the handful of you who knew about my little emotional breakdown last week, you will be happy to know that I am feeling much better.
I was questioning my decision to go to massage school. But mostly that doubt came about when one of my co-workers told me that he didn't see me a massage therapist, and I took those words to heart. I started piling up all the reasons why I wouldn't be a good massage therapist and I started to believe it. In the end, though, (or perhaps this is still just the beginning!) I decided to stick with it. I've had this desire for many years. I think I would be cheating myself immensely if I just gave up before I even started. Most people die regretting something they didn't do, as opposed to the ones they did. I don't want to regret giving up on my dream, especially for no good reason except someone told me it wasn't for me.
I was also panicking over my career...or more appropriately...my lack of one. My "career" has been made up of a series of jobs that I'm not passionate about and that consistently leave me at the bottom of the totem pole. What other person do you know that has two Master's degrees and is just a secretary? Do I really think that little of myself? Am I afraid of success?
I love to recall the message Joel Osteen gave about this being an Ephesians 3:20 decade. He said that if we have patience and faith, God will increase us RIGHT WHERE WE ARE. Yesterday, our department administrator sent out a head's up for a new position that is being posted soon. It is for a Vaccine Testing Evaluation Unit Coordinator. Honestly, the position isn't much of a step up...there will still be plenty of administrative work to do...BUT it IS a step. "Coordinator" sounds so much better on a resume than "Assistant." And when I inquired about the starting salary, I found out it is $40 - $50K depending on experience and education. Because I have experience in the CVD, I have two Master's degrees, and I have some experience with budgets and financial reports, I think I would be closer to 50 than 40, which would be a great raise. Not huge, but much better than if I would stay put. I don't know what my chances are of getting the job, but I'm going to apply. Because any step is better than no step. And I believe that God will promote me right where I am.
When I was having my breakdown, I ended up contacting our EAP office. I asked to be set up with a career counselor or life coach. I really wanted someone to sit down with me and help me figure my life out. I got the results back yesterday. The majority of them are male. I was really hoping for a female. Anyway, I'm deciding whether or not I should make an appointment. Should I just keep on with the status quo because I'm feeling better? Or should I really talk this through and see where it leads me? Hmm...now that I write both options out, I think I like the latter one. At this point, what do I have to lose? I want to be more brave and more authentic.
I was also questioning my decision to get married and have children. I am deeply in love with my husband, but it turns out there was some unresolved tension from my past still locked in my heart. I dealt with it the best way I knew how, and with the help of some advice from Eat, Pray, Love, I think I finally let it go. I am happy with where I am. And if things were meant to be different, they would be.
Part of me is still aching to run away to the beach and live in a cute cottage by the water, but I've gotten more peace realizing it will come...eventually. It's just not time yet. Harry and I already talked about retiring on the water. It will happen. When it's time.
I was questioning my decision to go to massage school. But mostly that doubt came about when one of my co-workers told me that he didn't see me a massage therapist, and I took those words to heart. I started piling up all the reasons why I wouldn't be a good massage therapist and I started to believe it. In the end, though, (or perhaps this is still just the beginning!) I decided to stick with it. I've had this desire for many years. I think I would be cheating myself immensely if I just gave up before I even started. Most people die regretting something they didn't do, as opposed to the ones they did. I don't want to regret giving up on my dream, especially for no good reason except someone told me it wasn't for me.
I was also panicking over my career...or more appropriately...my lack of one. My "career" has been made up of a series of jobs that I'm not passionate about and that consistently leave me at the bottom of the totem pole. What other person do you know that has two Master's degrees and is just a secretary? Do I really think that little of myself? Am I afraid of success?
I love to recall the message Joel Osteen gave about this being an Ephesians 3:20 decade. He said that if we have patience and faith, God will increase us RIGHT WHERE WE ARE. Yesterday, our department administrator sent out a head's up for a new position that is being posted soon. It is for a Vaccine Testing Evaluation Unit Coordinator. Honestly, the position isn't much of a step up...there will still be plenty of administrative work to do...BUT it IS a step. "Coordinator" sounds so much better on a resume than "Assistant." And when I inquired about the starting salary, I found out it is $40 - $50K depending on experience and education. Because I have experience in the CVD, I have two Master's degrees, and I have some experience with budgets and financial reports, I think I would be closer to 50 than 40, which would be a great raise. Not huge, but much better than if I would stay put. I don't know what my chances are of getting the job, but I'm going to apply. Because any step is better than no step. And I believe that God will promote me right where I am.
When I was having my breakdown, I ended up contacting our EAP office. I asked to be set up with a career counselor or life coach. I really wanted someone to sit down with me and help me figure my life out. I got the results back yesterday. The majority of them are male. I was really hoping for a female. Anyway, I'm deciding whether or not I should make an appointment. Should I just keep on with the status quo because I'm feeling better? Or should I really talk this through and see where it leads me? Hmm...now that I write both options out, I think I like the latter one. At this point, what do I have to lose? I want to be more brave and more authentic.
I was also questioning my decision to get married and have children. I am deeply in love with my husband, but it turns out there was some unresolved tension from my past still locked in my heart. I dealt with it the best way I knew how, and with the help of some advice from Eat, Pray, Love, I think I finally let it go. I am happy with where I am. And if things were meant to be different, they would be.
Part of me is still aching to run away to the beach and live in a cute cottage by the water, but I've gotten more peace realizing it will come...eventually. It's just not time yet. Harry and I already talked about retiring on the water. It will happen. When it's time.
Way Overdue Update
So much has happened in the world of Bianca the past few weeks!! Perhaps the biggest and most exciting news is she is crawling!! Ok...so it's not exactly a crawl...its more like an army crawl, where she slides herself around on her belly....but, man, can that girl get around!! Which is proving to be a bit of challenge. First, she loves electrical cords and wires of all kinds. She wants to put them in her mouth or give herself a hug with them. Not good! Next, she loves to pound on Daddy's laptop that sits on the floor. We originally had it up on the table, but she almost pulled it down on her head while playing with its power cord. She also loves to play with the cable box. She has already had a stack of DVDs fall on top of her, and she has been very close to pulling down our rack of TV trays. Looks like Mommy and Daddy have some major baby-proofing to do!!
BiBi is now 9 months old. I can hardly believe it!!! She did really well at the doctor's this month, although they didn't have to give her any shots. She is 27" long and weighs 16 lbs, 14 oz. She is happy and healthy, so we have nothing to complain about there.
She loves to dance. Anytime she hears some music that she likes, she bobs her head to the beat and smiles.
She is also doing better with standing. She still can't quite pull herself up yet, but when she starts out in standing position, she can hold herself there (while holding onto something else) for a while.
She went swimming for the first time ever at Samantha's graduation party on June 12th. We were at Rocky Ridge State Park, and we took her to the little beach. She didn't like going out too far, but she loved sitting down at the water's edge. She splashed and smiled the whole time. At one point, a big wave came and crashed over her head. I thought she was going to cry. But all she did was sneeze and then smile. Since then, she has gone swimming several times in Aunt Dot's pool. Aunt Dot says she loves it. She is definitely going to be a water bug!!
She still doesn't have any teeth yet, but she definitely has more hair. It seems to be coming in blond, but sometimes I think I see a tint of red in there.
I know I sound like a broken record, but I can't believe how fast she is growing up!!!
BiBi is now 9 months old. I can hardly believe it!!! She did really well at the doctor's this month, although they didn't have to give her any shots. She is 27" long and weighs 16 lbs, 14 oz. She is happy and healthy, so we have nothing to complain about there.
She loves to dance. Anytime she hears some music that she likes, she bobs her head to the beat and smiles.
She is also doing better with standing. She still can't quite pull herself up yet, but when she starts out in standing position, she can hold herself there (while holding onto something else) for a while.
She went swimming for the first time ever at Samantha's graduation party on June 12th. We were at Rocky Ridge State Park, and we took her to the little beach. She didn't like going out too far, but she loved sitting down at the water's edge. She splashed and smiled the whole time. At one point, a big wave came and crashed over her head. I thought she was going to cry. But all she did was sneeze and then smile. Since then, she has gone swimming several times in Aunt Dot's pool. Aunt Dot says she loves it. She is definitely going to be a water bug!!
She still doesn't have any teeth yet, but she definitely has more hair. It seems to be coming in blond, but sometimes I think I see a tint of red in there.
I know I sound like a broken record, but I can't believe how fast she is growing up!!!
Friday, June 25, 2010
Limbo No More
When I first heard "Limbo No More" in 2008, I thought it was very appropriate for my life at the time. I had just started my new job and I was about to get married. I posted the lyrics on my MySpace blog because it was resonating with me so strongly.
For a little over a year now, I have been trying to limit my music selection to Christian music. But after having a bit of a breakdown at work yesterday, I turned to the one person who has been helping me deal with emotional crises since high school: Alanis Morrisette.
I needed to sing. Really sing at the top of my lungs. I needed to cry. And as I listened to Limbo No More over and over as I drove home, it sort of became a desperate prayer for me.
My house, my role
My friends, my man
My devotion to God
All amorphous indefinite
Nothing's been clear
Nothing's been in
Nothing's felt true
And I've never had both feet in
Nothing's belonged
Nothing's been yes
Nowhere's been home
And I'm ready to be limbo no more
My taste, my peers
My identity, my affiliation
All amorphous indefinite
Nothing's been clear
Nothing's been in
Nothing's felt true
And I've never had both feet in
Nothing's belonged
Nothing's been yes
Nowhere's been home
And I'm ready to be limbo no more
I sit with filled frames
And my books and my dogs at my feet
My friends by my side
My past in a heap
Thrown out most of my things
Only kept what I need to carve
Something consistent
And notably me
Tattoo on my skin
My teacher's in heart
My house is a home
Something at last I can feel a part of
Sense of myself
My purpose is clear
My roots in the ground
Something at last I can feel a part of
Something aligned
To finally commit
Somewhere I belong
'Cause I'm ready to be limbo no more
My wisdom applied
A firm foundation
A vow to myself
'Cause I'm ready to be limbo no more
For a little over a year now, I have been trying to limit my music selection to Christian music. But after having a bit of a breakdown at work yesterday, I turned to the one person who has been helping me deal with emotional crises since high school: Alanis Morrisette.
I needed to sing. Really sing at the top of my lungs. I needed to cry. And as I listened to Limbo No More over and over as I drove home, it sort of became a desperate prayer for me.
My house, my role
My friends, my man
My devotion to God
All amorphous indefinite
Nothing's been clear
Nothing's been in
Nothing's felt true
And I've never had both feet in
Nothing's belonged
Nothing's been yes
Nowhere's been home
And I'm ready to be limbo no more
My taste, my peers
My identity, my affiliation
All amorphous indefinite
Nothing's been clear
Nothing's been in
Nothing's felt true
And I've never had both feet in
Nothing's belonged
Nothing's been yes
Nowhere's been home
And I'm ready to be limbo no more
I sit with filled frames
And my books and my dogs at my feet
My friends by my side
My past in a heap
Thrown out most of my things
Only kept what I need to carve
Something consistent
And notably me
Tattoo on my skin
My teacher's in heart
My house is a home
Something at last I can feel a part of
Sense of myself
My purpose is clear
My roots in the ground
Something at last I can feel a part of
Something aligned
To finally commit
Somewhere I belong
'Cause I'm ready to be limbo no more
My wisdom applied
A firm foundation
A vow to myself
'Cause I'm ready to be limbo no more
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
My New Vision Board
I put this vision board together rather quickly. I guess the deepest desires of my heart were happy to make themselves known! What I find rather interesting, though, is I didn't put church on here. I must ponder that omission a little further...
Ten Tenets of Whole Living
1. Happiness is a choice. Make that choice today and every day.
2. Good health isn't a gift; it's a habit you cultivate.
3. A healthy, fit body is not enough--true fitness engages the spirit.
4. Think more about what you should eat than what you shouldn't.
5. Laugh at yourself. You're funny.
6. Nurture your spirit. It's your source of strength.
7. Stay connected to the natural world. It will feed your soul.
8. Believe in yourself. Your intuition is rarely wrong.
9. It's never too late to take the first step toward your aspirations.
10. What you pay attention to will thrive.
~ From Whole Living Magazine
2. Good health isn't a gift; it's a habit you cultivate.
3. A healthy, fit body is not enough--true fitness engages the spirit.
4. Think more about what you should eat than what you shouldn't.
5. Laugh at yourself. You're funny.
6. Nurture your spirit. It's your source of strength.
7. Stay connected to the natural world. It will feed your soul.
8. Believe in yourself. Your intuition is rarely wrong.
9. It's never too late to take the first step toward your aspirations.
10. What you pay attention to will thrive.
~ From Whole Living Magazine
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